When I'm Old

Most people, when they think of retirement, seem to want to move away from it all. To live in a more country setting, with lots of land. My husband and I however, have the opposite view. We fully plan on selling the "big house" at a time in the future, and going to live in a small 2 bedroom condo in an urban center- Providence currently has an appeal, because of size and cost. We'll abuse our Seniors discounts at city locations, shop daily for our meals, and harangue the poor pharmacist at CVS when she doesn't fill our prescriptions fast enough for our liking. It will be a glorious time. Maybe because I grew up on a quasi-farm in suburbia that I just don't understand the appeal of lots of land. Lots of land is lots of work. I want someone else to take care of the outside of my building. I don't want to rake leaves, shovel snow or clean gutters. I don't want to be out in the middle of nowhere. I want to be in a city where there are places to go, and people to be around.

The Shopping List

I am self-admittedly the worst homemaker in the world.

Thankfully, I have other talents, and no desire to stay at home.

I therefore rely on my husband to take care of the house. I’d say we split things 50-50, but in reality, he does more. He does the laundry, the dishes, cleans the kitchen, puts the kids to bed, etc. I’m pretty much in charge of cooking dinner and doing the grocery shopping. And, I only do the grocery shopping.

My husband is in charge of doing the other shopping, for things like diapers, toilet paper, paper towels, cat food, kitty litter, and everything else in the house. However, I am supposed to keep track of what we need on a list. I slack off on this ALL THE TIME. So when it gets to the point where he calls and tells me he’s doing the Walmart run, and asks for the list, I just make things up. This has led to situations in the past where we have over 100 rolls of toilet paper in the house (and nowhere to put them) and no shampoo. Just this past March, the toilet paper got to the point where I couldn’t hide it anymore, and he caught on to my ruse. My punishment for making up fake lists, and sending him out for no good reason at all is that I now have to do the Walmart runs.

I shudder.

Bullies Aren't Always Kids

A Facebook post on Wednesday brought out a whole lot of responses from varied people. It turned out that other people besides me had issues with a certain science teacher from high school. Now this man could be classified only as a bully. Clearly picking on people he judged as weak. Favoring those that he viewed as strong. A sexist pig as well. I had him for Chemistry in 11th grade. I started the year in the honors class, but due to a serious inability to understand what the honors teacher was teaching, I was bumped down to academic. I moved into a class where there weren't any more seats, and had to sit at the lab tables or in seats of classmates when they were absent. This teacher made it clear that he did not respect any female intelligence. I was constantly being yelled at "Damn it Harrington, why are you so stupid?" and having things blamed on me for being blond. Fantastic motivation from a teacher. Another friend in another of this man's classes was nick-named "Ditzo." Mind you, neither of us were stupid, we were just unfortunate to be born female and natural blonds. This teacher favored the male athletes. Sitting them next to the smarter students, and allowing "Extra Credit" that the rest of us didn't have access to.

But I showed this man I was better than him. Better than he ever expected. Come finals time, he made a big deal out of the math portion of the final. Saying that no one ever got more than an 80 on it. Saying that the scale- for all classes, not just ours- would be based on the math portion, meaning that if no one got more than a 70 on the math, we'd all get a 30 points scale on the final. Well, I got a 97 on the math part of the final. He was enraged. He called me into his class after school and asked me how I did it. Now, I'm someone who writes out EVERYTHING in a math problem, so all of my work was right there. He could see every painful step of my logic. He berated me for "ruining the scale" for my classmates. Didn't I know that by scoring so high I was wrecking the score for everyone else? I told him that I deserved an A in the class, and I didn't care about the scale for everyone else, so long as I got my A. I'm still not sure what he did for everyone else, but I did get my A+ on the final, and my A for the final semester in the class (the only one I got from him that year).

It was the first time that I felt that I really bested someone in a position of authority. It was a skill that really helped me my senior year of high school. I had a new-found confidence in myself. An ability to just say "fuck it, these people mean nothing to my future" and really mean it. I got the best grades of my high school career. A little bit of antipathy plus a little bit of knowing you know more than a person of authority is a fabulous confidence booster.

My Mom Moment of the Day

This morning I was frantically searching my bag- a huge bag, because after all, I'm a Mom- for some cough drops. I realized that my bag has become yet another place that the kids have taken over. Here is a partial list of things I found in my bag:

1. A zip lock bag of Doritos, mostly crushed, age unknown.
2. A "bracelet" made from pipe cleaners, complete with elastic charms.
3. Dum-Dum lollipops. Some half-eaten, some still wrapped, in various condition, stuck in multiple pockets
4. A strawberry shaped eraser that I remember taking from them when it was starting WWIII in the backseat of the car, about three weeks ago
5. Ketchup and Mustard packets, because you never know when someone will NEED to have fries, and McDonald's will forget the Ketchup.
6. Children's cough medicine- I swear, in bad weeks, we go through a bottle a week
7. A "license" from an amusement park for one of the kids, so they could "drive" the cars there

I eventually did find a cough drop, but not until after I decided to clean out the whole bag. I wouldn't mind, but I only bought this one in November, so it's not even 6 months old.

The One? Soul Mates?

My husband's birthday is next week, he'll be 32. We are rapidly approaching a spot in our lives where we've been together for longer than 1/2 of our lives. That's what happens when you marry the person you start dating at age 17.

I don't like the term "soul mates" but I have a theory of "The One." Meaning that there's one person in the world out there for everyone, the person that completes you. However, sometimes that One person isn't meant to be your spouse or significant other. This is the person that when you have your first conversation with them, it's like you've known them your entire life. It's the person who, when they're not around, it feels like you're missing a limb. Yes, this is about as treacly as I get, so forgive my Hallmark sentiments. And, I'd like to think that in my case, my husband is my "One."

Does this mean that my husband and I are perfect? Not at all! We fight, but we fight reasonably. We don't dredge up the past, and we don't hold grudges. I've never kicked him out of our bed just because I'm mad at him, and I think that if you do that, you've got bigger problems than just an argument. We also aren't ones for dramatic, excessive romantic gestures. I don't need hot air balloon rides and dozens of roses, getting clean laundry put away for me is a more romantic gesture.