Confessions of a Mom of a Biter

Please see teacher for incident report. These six small words strike fear into the heart of daycare parents all over the country. In the majority of cases, it’s the instant quickening of the heart-beat, the “oh my god, what happened to my child” moment. In the minority, it’s parents like me who immediately jump to “oh god, who did my darling progeny bite or hit today?” This time, my child was the one who got bit. The irony is that she got a chunk taken out of her arm by a new girl. The new girl had just changed daycares because the mom was traumatized when her darling got bit at the old daycare (my daycare provider was almost gleeful that she got to tell the Mom that her child wasn’t as pure as driven snow). I of course was of the opinion that Avery probably deserved to get bit. And, in fact, after hearing the story, I still think Avery deserved the bite (she took a block away from the girl that bit her).

I’m the mom of a biter. The rest of you Mom’s hate me, because obviously I have no control over my child and don’t discipline her, otherwise she wouldn’t be a biter. To clarify, I’m actually the mom of two biters, one reformed, one current. The good news is, biters tend to stop biting when they become more verbal. The bad news is, sometimes it last for two years or more. My youngest, Avery, is almost 16 months old. She’s very active and aggressive. She’s the kid that takes toys from other kids, and it doesn’t matter to her if you’re twice her size. Once she gets what she wants in her sweaty fat hands, she’ll lay down on top of the item in question, and hold it hostage until you give up and go away. She also knows how to tackle, and can take down the bigger kids, in her attempt to rule the playroom. At home, I hear “Mom, Avery’s (insert here- hitting/biting/pulling hair), take her out of the room” at least twice every 10 minutes. At daycare, they tell me she’s much better than that, but then again, she’s been there long enough to have whipped the kids into submission. Her favorite words are “My” “No” and “Stop it.” In fact, “Stop it” was her first word, said with the hand held up in the universal stop or talk to the hand gesture. I find it really hard to lay down the law with this one, because she’s just too damn funny. I know she’s being manipulative, but I can’t help it. When you yell at her, she comes you and say “kiss.” How can you continue to yell at a kid who just wants to kiss you? And even then, she’s sneaky. She’ll be all kissy, and then when you least expect it, she’ll sneak in a bite, and laugh like crazy, and you know what? It is funny. She’s my last baby, and I’m going to give in to her.